Who are these people with no jobs and a ton of money, doing perfect handstands on beaches everywhere? The ones who seem to take perfect weather and epic sunsets with them everywhere they go. The ones Instagram filters are inspired by. #Juno #Sierra #Willow #YouKnowTheseWereNamedAfterGirls #JustLikeCrossFit #GirlWODs
They are all the people who, at one point, aspired to be like all the other handstanding-on-Instagram pioneers that came before them. They saw a sliver of untouched social media territory that was a pristine paradise. It beckoned to them. Having their sights set on a lofty goal, what did they do? They took Jerry’s Gymnastics Seminar to help them get there.
Wow. I Wish CrossFit Lobo Would Have Jerry’s Gymnastics Seminar…
You’re in luck, Pack. We are.
Why? We understand our civilization’s priorities have evolved and, in turn, elevated the social standing of those able to do handstands on social media to mere gods among us. We know this is exactly what you seek in life, and we are here to provide it (and any of life’s other answers, for that matter).
“What’s that?” you say.
“I can be a handstanding bikini model on Instagram too?”
That’s right! Men and women alike can finally achieve their dreams. On Saturday, May 20th, at 4:00 pm, Jerry, a long-time Lobo athlete and gymnastics instructor of 10 years, will be teaching you how to perfect your handstand.
In addition to the perfect handstand, here are other things that will be covered in the seminar:
By the end of the 90 minute seminar, you, too, will be able to handstand with the best of them,* and a magical glow will suddenly emanate from you. If a meteoric rise in followers on Instagram appeals to you, sign up either at the front desk or fill out the form below. The cost is $20 per person, and your credit card on file will be charged (if you would like to pay with other means, please indicate as such). Because Jerry performs miracles, our class will be limited to 10 people only.
You after Jerry’s gymnastics seminar.
*Instagram filters and beaches not included.
The mats are sweaty. – verified testimonial from Kayla, a 5-year-old in Jerry’s “Gymnastics for Kids” class